Resusci Anne aka Rescue Anne or CPR Annie has been used as a training mannequin used for teaching cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) to both emergency workers and members of the general public. Anne was developed by Norwegian toy maker Åsmund Laerdal, based on the research of Peter Safar and James Elam, and was first introduced in 1960.
In a brave new move, the Utopian College has introduced two new models to the resuscitation range in an attempt to bring a more realistic edge to the provision of advanced life support.
‘Resusci Sharon’ and ‘CPR Tracey’ are the brainchild of the Austro-Utopian Lego builder and Play-Doh modeler Ameritous Professor Torferson Nikolai Davadenko Putin
“The new models are more responsive, compliant, malleable and accepting of intervention. We found that Annie was becoming a bit staid in her old age and we needed an invigorating make-over to bring simulation into the 21st century” – Torferson Nikolai Davadenko Putin
With realism, comes hope.
“The Resusci Anne face was based on the death mask of an unidentified young woman drowned in the Seine River in around 1880 (L’Inconnue de la Seine). However, the new models are based on the fixed glare of our TV obtunded youth with reassuringly realistic ‘yeux ennuyés‘ and life-threatening tongue piercings.
Additional enhancements include
- The all new Mallampatti VII (Obicularis oris botox reduxis) feature, set to test even the most adept anesthetic trainee
- Adjustable silicon implants with 5 size variants to impinge ECG lead placement, hamper pericardiocentesis and befuddle auscultation
The UCEM conference Workshop will herald the first live show simulation involving the new models, and will also herald the unveiling of ‘ALS Butch’