UCEM says No to Softness

The Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine (UCEM) is proud to announce a new policy pertaining to the discipline of peri-departmental medicine. Until now, the softest admissions – such as the Patient Without Discernible Pathology (PWDP) – have been the toughest dispositions.

The introduction of the 4 minute rule had an immediate impact on the rapidity and accuracy of admission/discharge decisions within the realm of the Waiting Room. With this is mind, the UCEM are set to introduce the 4 picosecond rule as part of their tough new front-line strategy in weeding out soft admissions through the diodotic gates.

The College has engaged the services of Toyota and the Australian Country Border Security to devise a White Paper to help counter the growing number of inappropriate attendances breaching the barricades of the Waiting Room Wall.

Just Say No To Soft Admissions

The Utopian Border Patrol will commence their tough new campaign on inappropriate attendances in January.

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