UCEM position statement on alcohol and idiocy

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In social outings involving idiots, alcohol was found to protect neurons against apoptosis in smarter individuals. The delay in sensory relay caused by alcohol consumption is the likely mechanism for this phenomenon.

Toxic Alcohol Ingestion

ethylene glycol

Highlights and pearls on toxic alcohol ingestion from the EBMedicine article, “Toxic Alcohols: Not Always A Clear-Cut Diagnosis”

Christmas Canceled?

Egerton Y. Davis the Fourth, spokesperson for the Council Executive of the Utopian College for Emergency in Medicine, has announced that UCEM intends to cancel Christmas. He stated reluctantly: ”Tis not the season to be jolly, ’tis the season to be horrifically injured”.

That probably wasn’t a good idea….

One of great joys of being an emergency doctor, (and also one of it’s sobering features) is that, on certain occasions, there will be unfortunate members of the public who present to hospital having done something ridiculously stupid. Many of these foolish acts are chronicled in the Darwin Awards.

Understanding Alcoholism

The drunken vervet monkeys of St. Kitts provide us humans with a spooky parallel – some are tee-totalers but “5% drink to the last drop”…

Ethanolic oculotoxicity

The dangers of alcohol

Having trouble convincing your patients to cut back on their alcohol consumption? They laughed at your lecture on ‘PFO and the consequences‘? They roll their eyes when you detail the dangers of the demon drink? Maybe this visual aid will be of some help:

Insight

nurse_ratched

A middle-aged woman in the emergency department, speaking the day after an impulsive duloxetine overdose: “When I first started having problems I wanted to see a psychiatrist in the hope that I’d be diagnosed with something exotic and interesting like Tourette’s or Schizophrenia… actually what I really wanted to be was a manic depressive… Unfortunately, [...]

PFO and the consequences

injury_vs_bac

“PFO”…”Not another TLA”, I hear you groan… PFO is a three letter acronym that stands for “pissed, fell over“… A disturbingly frequent presenting complaint to emergency departments around the world. Here’s a bar chart showing the pattern of injuries that result from PFOs, according to blood alcohol concentration: The bottom line according to @precordialthump: At [...]