September 2, 2010

Morning after cheese

Camembert-de-Normandie1

Emergency contraception has always been a difficult issue to achieve a consensus on, but family planning strategies are integral to a sustainable future human population. The opinions of certain societal elements have often resulted in the practices which constitute family planning being less than legal in some areas of the world. In particular abortion and emergency contraception have been unduly targeted, until now.

Utopian Waiting Room

Utopian Waiting Room 2010 copy

With increasing ED crowding and ever increasing waiting the Utopian College has produced guidelines to improve patient comfort and safety and to begin diagnosis and treatment for those stable and well enough to enjoy time within the waiting room – Waiting Room Medicine.

Federal Infection Watch

pollyvirus

Ameritous Professor Broughton-Delirium noted with pleasure the official announcement by the WHO this week that the influenza pandemic was officially over. In a moment of psephological lucidity, he realised that this may explain the steady waning of local interest in pollyvirus infections. The supposedly great federal infection has, he insists, failed to ignite the level of concern and general panic befitting a true epidemic such as seen in Europe during the General Infection earlier this year.

Grand Rounds Killer Posts

white shark

It is with great honor that the Life in the Fast lane team and the Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine host this weeks Grand Rounds Vol. 6 No. 45 on August 3rd 2010. The theme for this edition is ‘Killer Posts’. We asked the MedBlogosphere to trawl their blog archive and dive deep into the soul of their writing to find their best; most inspirational; clever; witty; well-researched; head-turning; gut-wrenching; magnificent; glorious requiem of a post…and they did! Each author has chosen their most deadly Aussie critter, and we have coupled each blogger accordingly…

Chicken or the Egg?

Eggs

Which came first – the chicken or the egg? This statement represents a causality dilemma. Causality is the relationship between an event (the cause) and a second event (the effect), where the second event is a consequence of the first. Despite millennia of extensive research, evidential debate and philosophical procrastination the answer to this riddle still remains a mystery…or does it?

A cure for hurt feelings

hurt feelings

In response to concern (baseless) that the recent uncovering of the Society for the Prevention of Surgery was in some way meant to discredit the invaluable work of our Anaesthetic colleagues, Professor Staghorn and the Board of UCEM have undertaken and exhaustive search of the literature and have found a recent clinical trial that may alleviate the inadvertent emotion pain we have caused.

More Patients we Love to Treat

her job

This week the Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine brings to you its second instalment of the patients we all love to treat. Enjoy!!

The Patients we Love to Treat

Ilegal to kill a woman

The Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine has endorsed three new instructional training videos to assist in the management of common Waiting Room presentations.

Society for the Prevention of Surgery

UCEM logo

UCEM investigators have unearthed a shadowy organization known as the Society for the Prevention of Surgery. Prof Staghorn shows how to identify its members.

CPR Education Goes Viral

CPR

The UCEM has been led to believe that keyword search terms are essential to create a ‘viral’ marketing campaign for the new resuscitation guidelines and have decided to play with Pornography to start with.

Man catches gizmonotic virus?

In the future infectious diseases specialists will not only have human infections and zoonoses to deal with, but gizmonotic diseases (like computer viruses) as well.

Facebookville General Hospital

Facebookville General Hospital 150

Facebookville General Hospital has a number of well established Departments, some seriously important staff members and the occasional patient.

The Life in the Fast Lane team have combined with the Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine to help coagulate our disparate colleagues to create a unifying hospital and departmental structure….well it beats what I should be doing, which is writing a presentation for tomorrow!

UCEM Position Statement on Healthcare Reform

The UCEM has just released it’s first position statement on healthcare reform, after extensively reviewing the Rudd governments proposal on health care reform, and then surveying other disciplines of medicine to find out what they thought of the proposal. The following proposal was developed:

UCEM helps rise in Cialis sales

UCEM’s pharmaco-marketing gurus have been at work helping the makers of Cialis with their new R&D (aka advertsiing) campaign. Here is the end result.

Prof Bristol Calls For Volunteers

Rasta man

Professor Bristol, currently in Jamaica, announces a new UCEM-funded study to find the cure for anal retentiveness. Will transplants spell the end for this neglected disease?

Evidence-based Homeopathy

Evidence-based Homeopathy is an exciting new textbook. This exhaustive tome is essential reading for all candidates for the up-coming UCEM Fellowship.

Putting Patients at Ease

A new UCEM guideline is out: “Putting Patients at Ease”. Apparently the best way to learn how to do something is to first learn how NOT to do it.

The Art of Sloughing

DrDork

Your first referral to an inpatient team can be daunting. As a waiting room MUPPET it is often your first opportunity to put into practice lessons learned from years of medical pimping. The UCEM hopes to demonstrate through a series of video tutorials, the alternate sloughing methods employed by internal specialists. Awareness of sloughing tactics will greatly assist in refining your referral skills.

The Poison Preview

Skull Rating

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch is the latest stop on the UCEM World Tour 2010 and Egerton Y. Davis IV delivers a mesmerising impromptu speech that unveils UCEM’s latest initiative, ‘The Poison Preview’.

UCEM Intern Training

It has been a while, but Dr Dork (our first Waiting Room intern) has finally made a second referral in Utopia.