The Utopian College of Emergency Medicine warmly welcomes the arrival of Ameritous Prof Jeremiah McSeptic Broughton-D’Lirium from Chocadeira in Portugal. His new roles include Chair of Infectious Diseases, full member of the Council of Utopian Microbiologists and Cultural attaché for the UCEM
A/Prof Broughton-D’Lirium is a natural rabble-rouser, incapable of staying quiescent for more than one agenda item. His tirades of virulent invective usually falter when challenged by senate colleagues armed with an appropriate anti-invective agent.
Broughton-D’Lirium has been known to phase up to criticism for lagging behind the main body of opinion, yet he has a fine sense of dequorum when in polite company. Originally a cultured soul, his academic progress was matched by a voluntary descent into basement laboratory grime where he has been know to pass the time watching biofilms in black and white with subtitles. It’s been said that in these dark, anaerobic recesses he ferments the germ of a new idea before setting it loose on his colony of research assistants.
Growth and development only reach stagnation point when there’s nothing left to ferment. The earthy stench of media incubating in Broughton-D’Lirium’s basement subsides briefly when he prepares for a visit from his Auntie Septic; a lady of advanced years, reputed to have first uttered the phrase; “Long may your inocu-lum reek.”
The most recent infernal machine to emerge from the basement miasma is a solar powered bicycle he calls a thermocycler. There are rumours this contraption may evolve into a multiplex fishing rod holder for binary fishin’. Like many of his peers, he has little time for evidence-biased medicine, preferring an eminence-based model of corsality. This he insists is the proper conflation of cause and rough approximation.
The Ameritous Professor is a master of genomorphometry and an armchair authority on biocurtailment. Most of his clinic appointments are recorded as DNA.
A/Prof Broughton-D’Lirium’s official UCEM Council Executive Roles include:
- Chair of Infectious Diseases
- Full member of the Council of Utopian Microbiologists
- Cultural adviser to overseas trained physicians