UCEM Spokesperson Egerton Y. Davis IV spoke at a press conference at the UCEM headquarters on Enlightenment Boulevard today, near Pyongyang:
“December 1st is World AIDS Day. As well as raising awareness about AIDS and remembering the devastation that this disease has wrought over the past 3 decades, UCEM would like to remind the world about Ayds.”
“In the ’70s and ’80s — before the advent of the UCEM-sanctioned ELF* diet and our ME* physical activity recommendations — the over-corpulent had to resort to Ayds to try to lose weight.”
* ELF = eat less food, ME = more exercise
Egerton provided the following documentary footage to remind the assembled paparazzi of the utopian promise of Ayds:
Egerton continued:
“However despite coming in chocolate, chocolate mint, butterscotch, caramel and even peanut butter flavours, sales plummeted following the emergence of the AIDS pandemic. Given that the active ingredient of Ayds was originally benzocaine, then phenylpropanolamine, the eradication of Ayds due to the spread of HIV could be the pandemic’s only positive spin off. “
About Chris Nickson
Thank goodness for AYDS.
I’ve always asserted that HIV was not the cause of AYDS.
I guess excessive weight loss is a sure clinical sign of AYDS.