Emergency contraception has always been a difficult issue to achieve a consensus on, but family planning strategies are integral to a sustainable future human population. The opinions of certain societal elements have often resulted in the practices which constitute family planning being less than legal in some areas of the world. In particular abortion and emergency contraception have been unduly targeted, until now.
“Morning after cheese” is a particularly soft Camembert – even members of the family Felidae are known to eat. Impregnated with a slightly less virulent strain of Listeria monocytogenes, consuming the cheese triggers in multiple organs of the foetus, a granulomatous infection, resulting in spontaneous abortion.
“There is only a significant chance of mortality”, Dr. C. Hanger CEO of the biotechnology company ListGran said. “This represents a significant decrease in maternal mortality compared to techniques currently used in the third world.”
ListGran, achieves best results when taken in conjunction with alcohol, particularly an effervescent fermented grape derivative from France, it has been claimed.
Meanwhile, President of the Eugenics Society Mr. A. Ryan has welcomed ListGran and has offered his society’s support in the form of conducting the first double blind clinical trials of ListGran.
ListGran has bypassed many social customs, but whilst not strictly outlawed, it is yet to receive importation approvals in many parts of the world.
*This article was written with sponsorship from ListGran™. Contact physician regardless of whether used correctly or otherwise. Side effects include: septicaemia, meningitis, endocarditis, pneumonia, localised organ accesses and liver granulomatous infection. ListGran Pty. Ltd. takes no responsibility for this product. Antidote not included.*
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