I run a successful business. I have 3 children. I have lots of wonderful friends. We still rent our house, but all in all, we do OK. You could say, I am pretty put together. I have studied at both Undergrad and Postgrad level, I have been a public servant and am finally starting to see the kind of business success that I have worked hard for.

And next year, I will be risking it all to try and get into Medical School.

If I get in, when I start I will be 33 years old. When I start my Internship I will be 37. And whilst it doesn’t seem that old, the prospect of being almost 20 years older than some of my peers is a scary thought. Hence the title of this blog post…

I’ll be so old my Scrubs will be crocheted!

I always wanted to be a Doctor, but never really thought that it was possible. I was supporting myself at 16, paying rent & bills and working nights whilst other kids were focused on their studies. It became all about passing, rather than excelling. I settled into a degree in Politics, had my first child, got married, got a job, hated it, did Masters, hated that, worked in child protection, hated it, worked in Policy, liked it, had my second child, went into business, had health problems, had my third child…. and life got in the way.

People often ask what you would do with yourself if you had enough money for it to not influence your choices. My answer was always, that eventually, I hoped to go to Medical School and specialise in Neurology or Endocrinology, or Neuroendocrinology. Some people are bored by the inner workings of the HPA-Axis: I read books on it for fun. Some people are intimidated by things like Multiple Sclerosis or Alzheimer’s: I am fascinated. When a normal body turns on itself and everything goes haywire? I want to know the why, the how, and how to beat it.

See? I got excited just then. That happens sometimes…. ahem.

My decision was a cumulative one. It was a combination of “always wanting to” and various life experiences. I have had 3 high risk pregnancies, have had my fair share of health problems (including being on the losing side of 1 in 10,000 for surgical complications), recently cared for my grandmother who died of a brain tumour and have generally been exposed to the health profession from a premature birth to a hospice death and many, many things in between. Having seen all of this, experienced both good and negligent care, something through all of these experiences started to tell me that Medicine was my calling.

I became aware of the 4 Year Graduate Medicine program at Notre Dame Fremantle 3 years ago. I have looked at it every year since, pondered, then talked myself out of it, for fear that it was too late, my GPA wasn’t high enough, money (a big one) … all sorts of reasons.

Then one day last year, a little after turning 30, I was having a conversation with a friend about their dream of buying a property and growing aquatic plants. It’s not something that is immediate for them… they literally need $1.5 million to see their dream happen. And, I don’t know how or why, but something suddenly shifted in me where I reflected, and realised that the only barrier to me achieving MY dream is a bit of hard work and discipline.  Sure, it’ll take *some* money, but nowhere near that sort of money.

I realised that it’s not about having the money to do it, it’s about having the determination and courage to take a risk. And since that moment, I have been actively working towards sitting the GAMSAT in March 2011, with a hope to getting into a West Australian Medical School.

Of course, by writing about this journey I am putting myself out there and risking a very public failure if I don’t get in. I am terrified that I won’t. My… umm… peppered… Undergrad history of failing a year, and lots of stops and starts in various courses mean that my GPA is too low. I am currently enrolled in a second degree, with Advanced Standing in the degree, so that I graduate with a newer, cleaner record. But still, I lose a lot of sleep over the risk I am taking. The reality is that there are 700 applicants for 150 positions. Those figures instantly make me want to give up, I’ll be honest. But, now that I finally feel like I have my calling, it really does feel like mere details. Even if those details are epically terrifying, intimidating and cumbersome.

My real strength as a candidate, though, is not in my intelligence (even though I am smart and capable), but in the experience I bring as a mother, a patient, a feminist and a carer. I have been demeaned by a Doctor, almost killed by a Doctor, worked with a Palliative Care Doctor to manage cancer, watched a baby battle to breathe on a ventilator… I know how that stuff feels. I know how to do those things right. And I genuinely want to help people who suffer from chronic, or misunderstood, or complicated illness.

I am getting serious about GAMSAT Prep now, and because I need to do really well in it to be competitive, I am already starting to feel the stress of being a breadwinner for my family, as well as GAMSAT. I am strong in the Humanities and writing areas, and lacking a bit in the Sciences, so I am studying Chemistry, Physics and Anatomy at Murdoch.

On the more practical matters, I have been working hard to get rid of all debt so that our cost of living is not too high when I go to Medical School. I am also working on building the business in a way that I can only work 10 hours a week. It’s a lot of pressure and honestly? I don’t know if I am going to be successful. But, all I can do is try my best and if I fail, I’ll know I tried.

Nothing has ever been handed to me, and I expect this to be no different. I have already undergone significant personal growth since making the decision to apply, and I am terrified of how I am going to make it happen. But if anyone can, I can.

I hope that this can provide some inspiration for anyone that dreams of going to Medical School, or Law School, or quitting their job to grow plants or breed dogs. It may take us a bit longer to find our passion, but just remember, you only get one shot.

Follow the ‘Old Lady’ does Medical School

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