Facebookville General Hospital

Facebookville General Hospital has a number of well established Departments, some seriously important staff members and the occasional patient.

The Life in the Fast Lane team have combined with the Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine to help coagulate our disparate colleagues to create a unifying hospital and departmental structure….well it beats what I should be doing, which is writing a presentation for tomorrow!

I am fascinated with the growth of this ‘virtual hospital’ and the characters it has uncovered. If you are a Facebook Fan, check out some of the pages, they are well worth a read. The permanent Facebookville Hospital Directory will be hosted in the resources section of the blog

Nursing

The Surgical Matron	Advanced Nurse Practitioner	The Agency Nurse
The Recovery Nurse	The Theatre Nurse	The Pain Nurse
The Research Nurse	The Speciality Nurse Practitioner	Nurse Tutor
The District Nurse	The Medical Matron	The Student Nurse
The Newly Qualified Staff Nurse	The Student Nurse	The Physician Assistant

Emergency Department (A&E, ER, ED, Casualty)

The Resuscitation Officer	The A&E Consultant	The A&E Registrar
The A&E SHO	Accident & Emergency Nurse	The A + E Waiting Room
The A&E Sister	The A&E Senior Staff Nurse	The A&E Resus Nurse
Emergency Department Sister	Emergency Department Nurse	The Triage Nurse
A&E Assistant Practitioner	A&E wristband monitor	Emergency Medicine Consultant
The Emergency Department Charge Nurse/ ENP	Emergency Department Patient Journey and Flow Champion	The Inappropriately Grumpy A&E Receptionist

Department of Surgery

The Consultant Surgeon	The Surgical Registrar	The Surgical SHO
Consultant Transplant Surgeon	Consultant Vascular Surgeon	Cardiothoracic Surgeon
The Plastic Surgeon	The Trauma Surgeon	The Neurosurgeon
The Neurosurgical Registrar	The Cardiothoracic Registrar	The Orthopaedic Registrar
The Orthopaedic SHO	The Urology Registrar

Department of Medicine

The Medical Registrar	The General Practitioner	The Medical Consultant
The Gastro Registrar	The Cardiology Registrar	The Neurologist
The Ophthalmologist	The Dermatology Registrar	The Psychiatry SHO
The Consultant Oncologist	The Palliative Medicine Registrar	The Oncology SHO
Consultant Cardiac Physiologist

Department of Anaesthetics, ODP’s and Pump Monkeys

Curmudgeonly Anaesthetic Consultant	The Operating Department Practioner	The Student Operating Department Practioner
Backstabber	The Anaesthetic Registrar	Student ODP
The ODP	The Principal ODP	The Ditsy Blonde Student ODP
The Anaesthetic Nurse	The Theatres Manager	The Theatre Manager
Pump Monkey

Intensive care (ITU, ICU, Critical care)

The Critical Care consultant	The ITU Charge Nurse	The ITU Nurse
The Critical Care Sister	The ICU Registrar	The Critical Care SHO
The Intensive Care Nurse	The Critical Care Auxiliary Nurse	The Anaesthetics & ICU registrar
The Critical Care Outreach Team

Obstetrics, Gynaecology, Midwifery

The Midwife	The Gynaecology Registrar	The Obstetric Registrar
The Head of Midwifery	The Midwifery Matron	The Student Midwife
Community Midwife	The Labour Ward Co-Ordinator	The midwifery lecturer
The independent midwife	The Newly Qualified Midwife	The Breastfeeding Coordinator
The Holistic Madwife	The Maternity Support Worker	Labour ward Maternity assistant
The Maternity Ward	The Birth Centre	The Labour Ward Teapot
The Birth Doula	The Labour Ward	The O&G SHO
Obstetrics and Gynaecology Consultant	Obstetrics and Gynaecology Registrar	The Stand-alone birthing centre midwife

Department of Paediatrics (Pediatrics, Little people)

	The Neonates Registrar	The Paediatrics SHO	The Paediatric SHO
	The Paediatrics Registrar	Paediatric ED Nurse

Department of Radiology

The Radiology Registrar

The Radiographer

The student radiographer

Dentistry and Maxillofacial Surgery

The Maxfax Registrar	The Maxillofacial Registrar	The Trainee Dental Nurse
The (Mental) Dental Institute	The Professor of Periodontology
The Consultant Oral & Maxillofacial Surgeon	The Consultant Restorative Dentist

Infectious Diseases, Microbiology and Pathology

	The Microbiology Registrar	The Infectious Diseases Registrar	The Pathology Registrar
	The Infection Control Nurse Practitioner	The Chemical Pathology Registrar	The Superbug

Students, Locums and people who generally just get in the way

The Medical Student	The F1 On Call	The Locum Doctor
The International Medical Student	The Final Year Medical Student	The Medical Student
Third Year Medical Student	The Dental Student	Locum FY2
The Australian Doctor	Painfully Enthusiastic Medical Student

Essential Hospital Staff

The Ward Manager	The Medical Secretary	The Very Stressed Bleep Holder
The Cardiac Technician	The Hospital Manager	The Human Resources Manager
The Bed Manager	The Hospital Priest	The Medical Photographer
The Finance Manager	The Finance Analyst	The Health Care Assistant
The Hospital Ghost	The Reaper	The Polish Cleaner
The Security Guard	The Hospital Security Guard	Medical Records Manager
The Physiotherapist	The Hospital Pharmacist	The British National Formulary
The Occupational Therapist	Occupational Therapy Student	Speech and Language Therapist
The Pervy Porter	The Hospital Porter	The Therapy Animal
Hospital Lab Biomedical Scientist	The Hospital Radio DJ	The Union Representative

Essential Hospital Services

	The Doctor’s Mess	The Linen Cupboard	Switchboard
	The Facebookville Hospital Shop	The IT Department	Fracture Clinic

Hospital Equipment, Disease and Bizzareness

The Tangle Fairies	The Hospital Trolley	The Off Duty Rota
Incident form	Pat Slide
The Hospital Podding System	The Surgical Glove

Patient and Relative sub-groups

The Patient	The Private Patient	The Frequent Attender
The Hemicorporectomy patient	The Malingerer	The Intense Relatives
Borderline Personality Disorder patient

Senior Administration

	The Facebookville NHS Trust	Facebookville General Hospital	The SUPA Independent Hospital
	The NHS Non Executive Director	The Strategic Health Authority	The Chief Executive

Staghorn follows his nose

A Change of Direction

Does Roc rock? Does Sux suck?

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