Egerton Y. Davis IV, Head of UCEM‘s Demographically Impartial Public & Social Health Improvement Taskforce, made an important announcement today. Davis announced that his team have been allocated the task of saving Britain’s National Health Service.
“We’ve only been on the job for three-and-a-half minutes but I think we have already started to make progress. This first step of the plan is both simple and elegant. Instead of the NHS having an annual budget of FOUR MILLION POUNDS allocated to homeopathic non-treatments, we will use this money to fund medications and therapies that actually work… Heck, we might even be able to supply everyone with their own personal gas mask to stave off the ever-present threat of miasmatic disease. Yes, I know, it is a revolutionary idea.”
This timely announcement coincides with reports that, despite UCEM’s toxicologists being placed on standby, and aside from a small collective sugar rush, all victims of the 10:23 movement’s mass homeopathic overdose emerged from the ordeal unscathed.
Viva la Revolución!
UCEM welcomes any and all submissions that may help save our comrades in the Mother Country – this is but a small first step…