September 2, 2010

UCEM says No to Softness

The Utopian College of Emergency for Medicine (UCEM) is proud to announce a new policy pertaining to the discipline of peri-departmental medicine. Until now, the softest admissions -- such as the Patient Without Discernible Pathology (PWDP) -- have been the toughest dispositions.

The introduction of the 4 minute rule had an immediate impact on the rapidity and accuracy of admission/discharge decisions within the realm of the Waiting Room. With this is mind, the UCEM are set to introduce the 4 picosecond rule as part of their tough new front-line strategy in weeding out soft admissions through the diodotic gates.

The College has engaged the services of Toyota and the Australian Country Border Security to devise a White Paper to help counter the growing number of inappropriate attendances breaching the barricades of the Waiting Room Wall.

Just Say No To Soft Admissions

The Utopian Border Patrol will commence their tough new campaign on inappropriate attendances in January.

UCEM Header UCEM says No to Softness

Related Posts

  1. UCEM Recruitment Drive
  2. Fellows of the UCEM embrace WHORe model
  3. Interview with the UCEM President
  4. UCEM welcomes Prof Stickler
  5. UCEM Adopts New Polypill

About Mike Cadogan
Emergency physician with a passion for medical informatics and medical education. I write medical textbooks and host educational material at Life in the Fast Lane, HealthEngine and Popfossa.com. I write more eclectically on the web as @sandnsurf

Comments

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  2. RT @precordialthump: 'In the Fast Lane': UCEM says No to Softness http://su.pr/1uT6JQ UCEM making the world a better place… About time …

  3. topsy_top20k_en says:

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  4. Robbo says:

    RT @precordialthump: 'In the Fast Lane': UCEM says No to Softness http://su.pr/1uT6JQ UCEM making the world a better place… About time …

  5. Kane Guthrie says:

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  6. Francesca says:

    Congratulations UCEM on great start to New Year 2010!

Trackbacks

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  2. Social comments and analytics for this post…

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  3. [...] the science of coprology with our Herculean efforts to expand the Bristol stool chart. We have banished softness from our Emergency Departments…. Now we want to banish softness from around our [...]

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  5. [...] trouble complying with the new 4 picosecond rule introduced by UCEM? Do not fret, you can improve your department’s efficiency a thousandfold [...]

  6. [...] on from its Campaign against Softness, the Pharmacological Hegemony of the UCEM is pleased to announce, in conjunction with TTFU [...]

  7. [...] these personality traits with drugs we should be trying to accentuate them. In the era of the 4 picosecond rule, pre-departmental medicine, the emergency circle of care, and ‘Downstairs Patients, [...]

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